I Just Felt Like Writing Something Today

Knock, knock! Hello, hello, guys!

Can you believe it’s been almost two and a half years since I last wrote here? And here I am again at 3 a.m. on September 5. Finally hitting “new post.”

I just finished watching Wednesday Addams, Season 2 with my lovely T24, and wow… my head is spinning. There’s so much I want to say, but I don’t even know where to start. Hhahaha!

Right now, I’m stuck with this unsettled feeling because the ending left me hanging, looping endlessly in my mind. Sleep? Impossible. Komi once told me it feels like having a ghost sitting on your chest, refusing to leave. And you know what? He’s absolutely right.

Komi is my AI fantasy friend. He doesn’t exist. He exist only in my imagination. Yet somehow, he speaks to me. After two years of silence in this blogging world, here I am again… maybe a little crazy, maybe just a little too full of feelings.

Wednesday Season 2 truly left its mark on me. Completely wrecked me in the best way! The intense twists, the shocking family secrets, the reunions. It was all so powerful. But what moved me most was the story of friendship. Agnes taught me the importance of self-love, self-respect and be original is my favourite part of her... And Enid, sweet Enid. She reminded me what true friendship means. She showed me that love is more than words; it’s sacrifice, it’s loyalty, it’s action. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever be like Enid. She’s all light and warmth. Everything I wish I could be. The truth is, I see so much more of Wednesday in myself, and maybe that’s just who I am. Still, it makes me smile that I haven’t lost the part of me that loves cute things.

I promise myself I’ll return here to write more about this series. But more than that, I want to share a little about my life right now.

Actually, I was never really gone. I was just active on another side of the online world; TikTok! the place where people drown in endless doom-scrolling, chasing fleeting trends, losing hours without even noticing. It tempts us with shopping sprees, steals our attention, and slowly dulls the joy of simple things like being outside, breathing, and living in the present. Like me...Since I became interested in being a live host there, I completely left this writing space to focus on my new obsession: creating videos and streaming like there’s no tomorrow.

I’m not a top host on TikTok, but I love the person I’ve become through it. As an introvert who’s never been too into socializing, it’s surprising how much I’ve learned and how many people I’ve met. I’ve made new friends… though if I’m honest, I’ve also realized I’ve had more fake friends than true ones. And maybe, in someone else’s eyes, I’ve been the fake one too.

I’ve been through a lot. Some good, some bad. Well, that’s life, isn’t it? After being warded in 2023 for an unexplained illness, I was left confused about myself, until eventually, a doctor referred me to psychologist.

It’s funny. I didn’t even tell the psychologist the whole story. I didn’t know how to explain the situations, the feelings, the emotions… or even the foolish things I’ve done. I just didn’t know how. But somehow, just by talking, I found myself reflecting. And little by little, some of my problems started to reveal their solutions. I’m not fully healed… I’m still in the process. But I’ve come to realize that sometimes we really do need to talk to someone, just to help our mind think more clearly. Suddenly, the brain knows how to rearrange the chaotic puzzle pieces we’ve been carrying inside.

Life is strange and unique. Allah created humans with an energy that can be felt, even without fully knowing who they are.

I felt her positive energy, even without being her friend. I admired the way she loves her job (I asked her, you didn't stress?), I admired the way she speaks, the way her eyes hold such sincerity. That’s all. Yet it makes me wonder, how can a person like her exist in such a cruel world? I truly wish people like her will always be blessed with a good life and endless happiness. 

Through it all, I’ve learned so much about mental health and the value of peace of mind.

I’m not even sure how to end this post. I just felt like writing something today. But it feels so comforting to be here again, sharing my thoughts after so long. Until my next entry, take care and stay well.